Decisions

[kenjari]

I've decided not apply to grad school this year. All my current music projects will not produce recordings before the deadlines, so my portfolio and application will not be significantly stronger, or even different, than it was last year. If my chances haven't improved or even changed that much, I just don't think it's worth it to go through all that yet again.
Applying is a lot of work, and involves a major emotional roller coaster. It's such a big investment. Plus, I will have to take the GREs again, because my scores have expired (damn you, ETS!). So that's another large outlay of expense and effort. I'm tired of the emotional toll, too. It's hard to do this year after year, with the same result. I've put a lot of time and work into this, and I have little to show for it. I'm starting to get bitter and discouraged about the whole thing.
I think I could get a lot more accomplished if I focused on my composition career apart from getting into doctoral programs for the next year or two, if I put more of my energies into entering competitions, submitting pieces to calls for scores, and cultivating performance opportunities in Boston (and possibly elsewhere, too). It would give me more time to take advantage of working at Berklee, too; to take classes, make connections, and build relationships. And I genuinely love working there, too. It's an environment that is very supportive and musically stimulating.
It's time to try this a different way.

Comments

[wildpaletz.livejournal.com]

That's rough, but it sounds like it's a good time to regroup. Glad Berklee is so very supportive, particularly!

[ashears.livejournal.com]

Dang, it can't have been easy to come to that decision. But it sounds like it's the right one for now. Hopefully some time off & a few deep breaths & reassessment will give you that extra edge when you ease back into it again.

**hugs**

[zfarcher.livejournal.com]

Absolutely the right thing to do. And you will be such a hot commodity when you DO apply again that folks will be fighting to get you.

[cricket-pg.livejournal.com]

I think this is an excellent approach. I know many people who took time out from the grad school race to give themselves a couple of years of solid career experience, and you're now in a professional environment where you can do the same. I think it will turn out to be exactly what you need.