Yuletide Recs

Dec. 31st, 2025 12:19 pm
luthien: (Xmas: Yuletide)
[personal profile] luthien posting in [community profile] yuletide
Recs for my two gifts for Bookish (TV) and Murderbot (TV), plus recs for Dungeon Crawler Carl – Matt Dinniman, Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, Galaxy Quest, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams, Hornblower (TV), Knives Out (Movies), Princess Bride, Rivers of London – Ben Aaronovitch, Slow Horses (TV) at my journal.

Music Tuesday

Dec. 30th, 2025 04:45 pm
muccamukk: Elyanna singing, surrounded by emanata and hearts. (Music: Elyanna Hearts)
[personal profile] muccamukk

Fully sat for this album. I'm really loving her last three singles.

some things make a post

Dec. 30th, 2025 11:59 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett
  1. The paragraph from one of the pain books about Soup continues excellent for dramatic readings. I appear to have not quoted it here? I shall have to remedy that in the morning.
  2. My Shit Beard Hairs (I think I'm up to... 10ish of them, fairly reliably?) are increasingly white, which makes them increasingly hard to remove in targeted fashion (which I care about solely because the sensory experience of Isolated Hairs is Bad, Actually). I am amused by all of this.
  3. I am nearly up to halfway through December in my DW catch-up. Will I manage to be actually up to date by the end of the calendar year? PROBABLY NOT, because I am about to hit Year In Review season, when for some reason you all get very talkative!
  4. Absolutely have not set up my notebook for next year yet, and indeed am several days behind on physio log (augh). Executive Function Is Hard, Actually. This is the other factor that is likely to derail getting caught up on DW tomorrow...
  5. Successfully offloaded some leftovers at a Boardgames And (Fake) Leftovers gathering (with air purifier, and carrageenan nose spray). Tragically, left behind the tea strainer that we'd been using to fix the problem of Cork In The Port...

(no subject)

Dec. 30th, 2025 06:53 pm
aurumcalendula: gold, blue, orange, and purple shapes on a black background (Default)
[personal profile] aurumcalendula
I'm planning to attempt the ginger cookie recipe that hasn't quite come out right for me in the past (they didn't spread they way the picture indicated they should) with baking soda instead of baking powder and see if they turn out better.

(I'm unclear if there's a difference between UK self-raising flour and US self-rising flour. iirc most the recipes for making self-rising flour involve adding 1.5 tsp baking powder and 0.25 tsp salt to 1 cup flour, but the chocolate chip cookies I made the other day used baking soda so I figure it's worth a try.)

2025 book roundup

Dec. 30th, 2025 05:23 pm
pauraque: butterfly trailing a rainbow through the sky from the Reading Rainbow TV show opening (butterfly in the sky)
[personal profile] pauraque
In 2025 I posted reviews of 47 books, of which 7 were re-reads, 5 were revisions of old reviews, and 35 were books I read for the first time this year.

and here they are )

This brought me up to 11 novels and two short story collections in my chronological Le Guin project. Have I made much of a dent? Well, her website says she produced "23 novels, 12 volumes of short stories, 11 volumes of poetry, 13 children’s books, five essay collections, and four works of translation" so I have certainly taken a big bite out of the novels even though I'm only up to 1976. I don't think I realized how novel-heavy her early career was. I am not planning to read all the poetry (I'll probably do some) and the only translation I'll be looking at is her Tao Te Ching. And yet, even when I sketch out a planned posting schedule that assumes I'll be grouping some of the picture books together, it still comes out as three more years and I don't know how that's possible. Stay tuned to find out if she really wrote as many things as I think she did, or if I just can't read a calendar.

At the end of last year my TBR list had 180 books on it, and my goal was for that number to go down. Which it did. By three. It's not that I wasn't reading things from the list, it's that I kept adding more. I decided to do a big cull, mostly of books that had been on there for way too long and I couldn't honestly say I was interested anymore. Now it's down to 140.

Of the books I read for the first time this year, my favorites include: The Backyard Bird Chronicles, The Spear Cuts Through Water, We Have Always Lived in the Castle, The Only Good Indians, and Convenience Store Woman.

Fandom year in review

Dec. 30th, 2025 02:14 pm
sholio: glittery Christmas ornaments (Christmas ornament 2)
[personal profile] sholio
I used to do these more regularly, back in the LJ and early DW days when a lot of people used to do end-of-year lists of their fic in case you'd missed anything, before so much of it was consolidated on AO3. I never really was that organized about it, but over time my (slightly chaotic) end-of-year fandom posts were taken over by my origfic roundup posts, and I stopped doing them entirely. But as this is my 20th (or so) year in LJ/DW fandom, perhaps this is a good time to start doing them again, especially since this was a very exciting and interesting year for me! (I also did a year-end roundup meme over on Tumblr, which is where some of this was originally consolidated.)

I'm still in Biggles, but I also got into three, count 'em, 3 new fandoms, although none of them were entirely new to me:

  • MASH: rewatch of a show I watched a lot as a kid, but hadn't actually seen again as an adult (except a scattered episode here and there). I didn't expect it to grab me fannishly, but that's what I get for guessing. I've drifted out again now, I think, but it was a good time and a really delightful nostalgia rush.

  • Babylon 5: watched about two and a half seasons back in the 90s, always meant to go back and finish it before I got completely spoiled, fell as hard as I always suspected I would.

  • Murderbot: read the first book years ago, didn't really vibe with it, turned out to love the show.

I posted 215,777 words of fic on AO3 according to their stats. (My personal accounting is 296,200, which includes all the promptfic and unfinished fics.) This is way up from the last couple of years, and I'm also starting to write longer fic again - everything I posted in 2023-24 was under 10K.

I started making vids again, and posted 3 (2 MASH as treats for last year's Festivids, 1 for Murderbot).

In general, I started being able to "do" visual media again last winter. I hadn't really been watching anything for the past couple of years, or watching vids, or really doing much of anything in a visual medium. Last winter I bought a tablet (Black Friday sale) that I planned to use for media watching, and it did in fact work out very well for that! I wanted it at least partly as a distraction from IRL, which has really been A Lot - not even speaking about world events, but just me personally. My stepdad died in January, and I've spent this past year traveling back and forth between my mom's place and here, helping her adjust. And then I got back into actual travel this fall, with a trip to England and then most recently Hawaii for the holidays. So it's been nice to have visual media as a kind of touchstone to anchor me by. I also read a lot.

I'm coming off a bad couple of years, in fandom and overall - I burned out, I lost some friends, I was kind of hard to deal with in general, I think. But this year has felt much better to me. I've been having an amazing time with my new shiny things, I'm creatively active and excited about writing in a way that I haven't really felt in years, and I really like a lot of what I wrote this year. There have still been ups and downs even with that, of course - I have *got* to get back in the habit of editing more before I post things, I know I'll be happier with it. But all in all, I like where things are for me now.

I honestly kind of hope I don't get into anything new in 2026, at least not right away, because I'm really happy with my current fandoms and I have lots more to "say" about them in fic, I feel!

Speaking Without Words

Dec. 30th, 2025 10:23 pm
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)
[personal profile] lokifan
I never posted this here! :o

This was written in such a panic, haha, but it has a good rate of bookmarking on AO3 so I think it came out okay??? And I'm still so pleased I finally wrote cute werewolf fic.

Title: Speaking Without Words
Word count: ~10, 400
Characters/pairings: Noctis/Prompto
Rating: Teen
Summary: Being a werewolf wasn’t a big problem in Prompto’s life until he was about sixteen. But now Noct was definitely gonna find out - and then Ignis would find out.
Content notes: emotional hurt/comfort
Author’s Notes: This was written for [profile] maniikoi for the Promptis Exchange. Many thanks to the incredible patience and kindness of the mod, [personal profile] star54kar, and to [profile] sodsta for his beta-ing!

AO3 link

Speaking Without Words )
pameladean: Orange cat heralically arrayed on a pillow depicting the face of William Shakespearee (Saffron)
[personal profile] pameladean
Our beautiful, goofy, adventuring Saffron cat is gone.

Here she is right after arriving in April of 2013.

Orange tabby cat standing on her hind legs in an armchair, playing with a cat dancer toy

Below the cut are more photos; then there's another cut before I describe her last day. Please feel free to skip that part if you don't feel up to it. She was very much herself and everything went pretty well, but it's still awfully sad.

Read more... )

Below the cut is a description of her last day. Please skip if you don't feel up to it. There are also a few more photos of her exploring the room the University provided us.

CW for pet illness, death

Read more... )

Media Tracker 2026

Dec. 31st, 2026 01:46 pm

impulse purchase

Dec. 30th, 2025 04:31 pm
asakiyume: (Iowa Girl)
[personal profile] asakiyume
The checkout line at this Walmart was going to be very slow: ahead of us were four grown-ish children and their mom, and their cart was packed to overflowing.

“How about you bring the car around for my dad,” I suggested. “You guys wait, and I’ll text when I’m through.” My husband nodded, and the two of them headed out.

Between me and the family with the packed cart was an older couple; behind me was a younger couple. All of us had just a few things—I had a laundry basket, a bathroom scale, and a shower curtain for my dad’s new living situation.

Lining the checkout alley were tempting items to impulse purchase: Goya adobo seasoning, both con and sin pimienta, Goya canned beans, Jarritos sodas, Sanchis Mira Turrón de Alicante—nougat candy from Alicante, Spain. We who were waiting had a long time to contemplate these items. The couple ahead of me grabbed a shaker of adobo seasoning. The couple behind put a couple of the sodas in their cart. I stared at the nougat candy. Would it be like torrone, the Italian version of nougat candy that my grandmother used to have? That candy came in small boxes with pictures of famous sites in Italy or of women in traditional regional dress.

I added a package of the candy to my cart. The family with the very full cart was through; the older couple ahead of me were putting their items on the conveyor belt.

“Necesitan bolsas?” the cashier asked. No, they didn’t need any bags. The cashier wished them a Feliz Navidad, and it was my turn.

“Hi, how are you, you want the shower curtain and the scale in the laundry basket?” the cashier asked. She wished me happy holidays and switched smoothly back to Spanish for the couple behind me.

Sanchis Mira Turrón de Alicante turned out to have the same flavor but a completely different texture from the Italian torrone my grandmother used to get. The Italian torrone was thickly chewy, a workout for the jaw; the turrón was hard and broke into dangerous sugar splinters. Ah well. Maybe I’ll have better luck with my next impulse purchase.

Gaming Update

Dec. 31st, 2025 09:29 am
cyphomandra: boats in Auckland Harbour. Blue, blocky, cheerful (boats)
[personal profile] cyphomandra
I'm now on day 90 of Blue Prince and have solved quite a lot of puzzles, but I still have more to go, plus all the trophies that require me to get to room 46 in a certain time/under certain conditions (for those following along, I have done the sanctum, opened one door of a certain colour, and begun the blue tents). I am starting to run out of steam though, and I think it's time for a break.

The problem is what to do next! I do want to get back to FFVII, but I also want something new. I tried Alan Wake II, which I picked up as a free game - it's survival horror, set in another of those terrible small US towns, and I am currently stuck on a boss battle in chapter 2 that had an abrupt difficulty spike. My character moves unbelievably slowly and can only take 2 hits, plus I don't have the resources to upgrade my weapons yet, and while I think I can probably get through this eventually without downgrading the difficulty, it feels less like a game puzzle I can't solve yet and more like bad game design, arrgh. I do like Saga (my current character) but it has been a while since I played horror and I have also so far proven myself to be pretty terrible with jump scares. Typing this up has made me think that maybe I just downgrade the difficulty and see if the story still works for me.

I got Ghost of Yōtei for Christmas, and I also got Cyberpunk 2077 back from the person to whom I'd lent it, so those are both alternate possibilities. BUT. I also got another free game this month, and it's Lego Horizon Adventures, so last night after having my face bitten off in the Overlap for about the fortieth time, I switched gears and sent Lego Aloy out into the world, woo hoo. They have definitely detraumatised the storyline (your first mission is to retrieve some of the Nora who've been kidnapped by cultists, who are cruelly transporting them somewhere in cages and refusing to let them have bathroom breaks; everyone is rescued without casualties) and the fixed camera angles are a bit irritating, but we have already successfully hidden in red grass, shot flaming arrows into shrubbery to clear puzzles, and climbed our first Tallneck, woo hoo. And I say "we" because there is a co-op mode and my son, who's watched me battle through bits of Horizon was very excited to join me. He has put his character (who is supposed to be Rost) in the Sun King Avad skin, tho', which is throwing me a bit :D (most of the voice cast are those from the original game).

Dyslexia and the Reading Wars.

Dec. 30th, 2025 08:54 pm
[syndicated profile] languagehat_feed

Posted by languagehat

I’ve read a fair amount about the so-called Reading Wars over the years, but nothing as convincing as David Owen’s New Yorker article in the latest issue (archived). It starts:

In 2024, my niece Caroline received a Ph.D. in gravitational-wave physics. Her research interests include “the impact of model inaccuracies on biases in parameters recovered from gravitational wave data” and “Petrov type, principal null directions, and Killing tensors of slowly rotating black holes in quadratic gravity.” I watched a little of her dissertation defense, on Zoom, and was lost as soon as she’d finished introducing herself. She and her husband now live in Italy, where she has a postdoctoral appointment.

Caroline’s academic achievements seem especially impressive if you know that until third grade she could barely read: to her, words on a page looked like a pulsing mass. She attended a private school in Connecticut, and there was a set time every day when students selected books to read on their own. “I can’t remember how long that lasted, but it felt endless,” she told me. She hid her disability by turning pages when her classmates did, and by volunteering to draw illustrations during group story-writing projects. One day, she told her grandmother that she could sound out individual letters but when she got to “the end of a row” she couldn’t remember what had come before. A psychologist eventually identified her condition as dyslexia.

Fluent readers sometimes think of dyslexia as a tendency to put letters in the wrong order or facing the wrong direction, but it’s more complicated than that. People with dyslexia have varying degrees of difficulty not only with reading and writing but also with pronouncing new words, recalling known words, recognizing rhymes, dividing words into syllables, and comprehending written material. Dyslexia frequently has a genetic component, and it exists even in speakers of languages that don’t have alphabets, such as Chinese. It often occurs in combination with additional speech and language issues, and with anxiety, depression, attention disorders, and other so-called comorbidities, although dyslexia itself can have such profound psychological and emotional impacts that some of these conditions might be characterized more accurately as side effects.

Estimates of dyslexia’s incidence in the general population vary, from as high as twenty per cent—a figure cited by, among others, Sally Shaywitz, a co-founder of the Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity—to as low as zero, as suggested by Richard Allington, a retired professor of education at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, who in 2019 told participants at a literacy conference that legislators who supported remediation for students with reading disabilities should be shot. Nadine Gaab, a professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, told me that the best current estimates fall between five and ten per cent.

There are reasons for the inconsistency. The condition varies in type, severity, and presentation of symptoms, and early literacy skills have historically been hard to measure. Many children with dyslexia (and their parents) never learn they have it. Because a common strategy for avoiding the embarrassment of reading aloud is to act in a way that results in being sent to the principal’s office, dyslexic students are often treated primarily as discipline problems. At every grade level, they are more likely to be suspended, expelled, or placed in juvenile detention, especially if their families are economically disadvantaged. According to a 2011 study of four thousand high-school students by Donald J. Hernandez, then a sociology professor at Hunter College, more than sixty per cent of those who failed to graduate had been found to have reading deficits as early as third grade. More often than not, schools don’t intervene effectively, sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes as a result of misguided pedagogy, sometimes for fear of incurring instructional or legal costs. […]

Shaywitz, in her book “Overcoming Dyslexia,” cites an account, published by a German doctor in 1676, of “an old man of 65 years” who lost the ability to read after suffering a stroke. “He did not know a single letter nor could he distinguish one from another,” the doctor wrote. This was perhaps the first published description of what’s known today as acquired dyslexia, caused by damage to the brain. Two centuries later, a doctor in England wrote a paper about a case of what he called “congenital word blindness.” It involved a fourteen-year-old boy who was unable to read despite years of instruction by teachers and tutors. He could recognize “and,” “the,” “of,” and a few other one-syllable words, and he knew the letters of the alphabet, but when the doctor dictated vocabulary to him he misspelled nearly everything, writing “sening” for “shilling” and “scojock” for “subject.” His disability stood out, the doctor wrote, because his schoolmaster had said that he would be “the smartest lad in the school if the instruction were entirely oral.”

Spoken language arose at least fifty thousand years ago, and the brain has evolved with it. As a consequence, most children learn to speak early and easily, without formal instruction. (Deaf children pick up signing readily, too.) Reading and writing are different. They were invented only about five thousand years ago, and natural selection has not configured the brain to facilitate them. “You can’t just lock a group of kindergartners in a library and expect them to emerge, a couple of weeks later, as readers,” Gaab told me. “It’s more like learning a musical instrument. You can listen to Mozart all your life, but if I put you in front of a piano and say, ‘Play Mozart,’ you will fail.”

To become literate, people have to repurpose parts of the brain that evolved to perform other tasks, such as object recognition and sound processing. “What we have to do, over the course of learning to read, is coördinate these areas to communicate with each other and build what we call a reading network,” Gaab said. The areas are connected by axon bundles, which she likened to highways. The French neuroscientist Stanislas Dehaene, in his book “Reading in the Brain,” writes, “Scientists can track a printed word as it progresses from the retina through a chain of processing stages, each of which is marked by an elementary question: Are these letters? What do they look like? Are they a word? What does it sound like? How is it pronounced? What does it mean?”

I could quote a lot more, but I’ll just urge you to read the whole thing; you may be as enraged as I was at the educators who refuse to believe that the methods they were taught have been shown not to work, and at the huge number of kids whose lives have been needlessly worsened. (To preempt an obvious and pointless derail: the wretched English spelling system is neither here nor there; to repeat a sentence from above: “Dyslexia frequently has a genetic component, and it exists even in speakers of languages that don’t have alphabets, such as Chinese.”)

Finished Bee Speaker

Dec. 30th, 2025 01:08 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly
I believe the theme of this book is "the road to hell" with a side order of "best laid plans". To be fair... )

***************************


Read more... )

Wednesday Reading Meme on Tuesday

Dec. 30th, 2025 03:09 pm
osprey_archer: (books)
[personal profile] osprey_archer
I’m doing the Reading Meme one day early this week, as tomorrow is the last day of the year and therefore the day for the Year In Review.

What I’ve Just Finished Reading

I am freeeeeeeee of my vow to read Christmas books for Advent, and therefore… accidentally read one more book with Christmas in… Marilyn Kluger’s Country Kitchens Remembered: A Memoir with Favorite Family Recipes, about the farm kitchens she remembers from her childhood during the Depression, not only her own family’s but her grandparents on both sides. Like any good farm kitchen memoir, the book documents the different foods of each season, which means of course a Christmas chapter, but also chapters about the new peas of spring, the corn on the cob fresh cut from the stalk literally minutes before lunch, the frost-nipped persimmons brought in during the Thanksgiving grouse hunt… Good eating and good reading.

But then! Then I truly broke free with Ngaio Marsh’s Spinsters in Jeopardy! Set in summer in the south of France, Inspector Alleyn and his lady wife Troy co-star in a mystery featuring a drug racket run by an erotic murder cult. You know I love a cult! Also featuring their six-year-old son Ricky, a surprisingly well-observed child. A shocking number of writers of adult fiction couldn’t write a convincing kid to save their life.

And I also slipped in my December Unread Bookshelf book by the skin of my teeth: E. Nesbit’s The Phoenix and the Carpet. I got this soon after I read Five Children and It, then it languished for so many years that I forgot why I was putting it off, but as I read it I remembered: I find these children so stressful! They are forever doing things like “setting off firecrackers inside the house,” which is how they set fire to the old nursery carpet which results in the bringing in of the magic carpet.

What I’m Reading Now

I’ve started Rumer Godden’s Thus Far and Now Farther, which so far is what I expected Elizabeth and her German Garden to be: a charming memoir about a woman in an isolated location with her children, her governess, and her vast army of underpriced labor making a charming garden.

What I Plan to Read Next

No plans! Only vibes! Okay, actually I do have plans, but I am contemplating if I ought to jettison them in favor of vibes. Maybe 2026 should be the Year of Vibe Reading? I have been trying to come up with a good New Year's Resolution...

Yuletide Recs, Part II

Dec. 30th, 2025 11:49 am
rachelmanija: (Autumn: small leaves)
[personal profile] rachelmanija posting in [community profile] yuletide
A set of recs with commentary at my DW, sorted by whether or not you need to know canon. For most of these, you don't.

The canons are "17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future" - Jon Bois, House of Hollow - Krystal Sutherland, James Hoffman's Coffee Videos (Web Series)/Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft/"A Study in Emerald," "Tower Wizard" - Bluesky, True Detective - season one, World War Z - Max Brooks.

6 Yuletide recs

Dec. 30th, 2025 08:52 pm
turlough: woman sitting in sofa corner reading with snoozing cat behind her on the sofa back,  art by Kim Parkhurst ((other) reading is one of life's joys)
[personal profile] turlough posting in [community profile] yuletide
Recs for Cherryh: Finisterre, Brother Cadfael, Lord Peter Wimsey, and Yes, Minister in my journal

(no subject)

Dec. 30th, 2025 02:49 pm
thedarlingone: Daniel Jackson by a wall with inscriptions, captioned "alien graffiti" (alien graffiti)
[personal profile] thedarlingone
Streaming some Breath of the Wild! I just got my joycons working with my WiiU emulator so I can use motion controls now; I'm really excited about that.

Yuletide Recs, Part II

Dec. 30th, 2025 11:47 am
rachelmanija: (Autumn: small leaves)
[personal profile] rachelmanija
I read these offline and have not commented on most of them yet on AO3, but I wanted to rec them before reveals because they're great.

Don't need to know canon

"17776: What Football Will Look Like in the Future" - Jon Bois. I only know this canon from Yuletide stories, and all I really know is that in the very far future, it's a post-scarcity world where everyone is immortal. It reliably produces lovely stories that feel kind of like the more personal/emotional xckd comics. Here is another one.

What Rock Collecting Will Look Like in the Future. Funny, bittersweet, cool worldbuilding; I was surprised and delighted to learn that fordite is real!

James Hoffman's Coffee Videos (Web Series)/Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft/"A Study in Emerald." All you need to know is that a coffee guy reviews coffee online, and this is him reviewing eldritch coffee.

I'm ranking 5 coffees from beyond this world (literally). "I feel a bit as if the coffee tasted me and not the other way around." Hilarious, dead-on coffee notes, dead-on Lovecraft; makes me want to try some of the coffees despite the risk of growing gills or being possessed by Elder Gods.

Tower Wizard - Hourly updates on the life of a wizard who lives in a tower, like "The little cat plays with a leaf. The wizard carefully checks that it's not a dangerous reagent, then returns it to the little cat." His best friend is an ex-paladin, and they eat a lot of interesting food. That's it, that's all you need to know.

Ruins and Roads. A charming original fantasy story, magical and cozy and bittersweet.

True Detective - season one. All you need to know to read this story is that Rust and Marty used to be cops, and they were both seriously injured when they reunited to investigate a weird case that might or might not have supernatural elements.

burned in kind. An outstanding post-series casefic and get-together with a flawless Rust voice, A+ hurt-comfort, and a creepy maybe-supernatural maybe-not case. If you know the series, this is 100% not to be missed; if you don't, you might still really like it as a standalone spooky mystery with excellent characterization.

World War Z - Max Brooks. You just need to know that there are zombies.

little stone. Zombies in 9th century Latvia! An atmospheric story about grief and loss in a time far from us; the protagonist's emotions are raw and vivid. Note: child death.

Need to know canon

House of Hollow - Krystal Sutherland

You Live in a Hollow House. Creepy, unsettling horror with an excellent use of color and image embeds.

Meeting Halfway. Creepy, unsettling horror with a touch of sweetness.

Grandparents

Dec. 30th, 2025 01:23 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Hello, Carolyn: My stepdaughter won’t allow me to see her children, 6 and 8. I bent over backward for 11 years trying to be supportive and generous to her and then her children, but she acts entitled and ungrateful. Last summer I blew it and told her off. That was the end of my loving relationship with her and the grandkids I adore.

I know it is largely my fault for not speaking up sooner on how I would like to be treated. My husband, a dear, won’t get involved in trying to repair the relationship. Of course, I have apologized to his daughter for being so harsh. Please help.

— Anonymous


Read more... )

****


2. DEAR ABBY: My son died of cancer at 33. It was heartbreaking. My daughter-in-law, "Belinda," had grown distant before his death, and although they had a son through artificial insemination, I have almost never seen him. I helped with the weeding in my son's yard, but any time I came, Belinda always had the baby at the park or someplace else.

Now that my son is gone, she won't answer any phone calls or texts. We do have some contact with her family. They have asked her why she won't contact us, and she has no explanation. My theory is that Belinda was uncomfortable sharing our son, and it has transferred to the grandchildren. I say "grandchildren" because she used his sperm to have another child. We found out by accident that a baby girl was born. We were never notified. While I doubt this plays a big part in this, Belinda is bipolar.

As it stands, I no longer make an effort to have a relationship with my grandchildren. They are so young, and I anticipate difficulty in pursuing grandparents' rights because of their ages and their mother's attitude toward us. This is painful, as they are the only part of my son that remains. I feel helpless and have pretty much blocked out the fact that I have grandchildren. Do you have any advice? -- BLOCKED IN OHIO


Read more... )

***


3. Dear Annie: My daughter, 31, left home at 19 to attend university. Within weeks, she began dating a boy she'd met through the school's Facebook group. Coming from our cultural background, we weren't comfortable with relationships outside marriage, but after two years, she moved in with him, mostly on her terms. They lived together for six years, bought a house, got a dog, eventually married and, two and a half years later, had my precious granddaughter.

My daughter has always dominated her marriage. Everything has to be on her terms. She's intelligent, determined and successful, but also bossy, pushy and demanding. Outwardly she can be sweet, but behind closed doors she often belittled her husband, and his laid-back nature just let her have her way.

About a year and a half ago, while I was babysitting, my daughter suddenly announced she no longer loved her husband and wanted to separate. I was shocked, but she bulldozed through the conversation and didn't let me say a word. Deep down, I was sure another man was involved. Within six months, the house was sold, assets divided and custody arranged, with little thought to the impact on their young daughter. My daughter was also left with the dog, which my son-in-law wanted no part of anymore.

It's been nearly a year since the split. My daughter appears to have a new partner, though she won't confirm it, only dropping hints to "familiarize" us with this new relationship, while her not-yet-ex-husband has turned to online dating. My granddaughter now splits time between them.

At her father's house, she still sees her other grandparents weekly. But with us, my daughter controls every visit and barely lets us into her life. We went from caring for our granddaughter regularly to limited contact with her and only when my daughter is present. She uses her daughter as leverage, essentially saying to us, "Accept my choices or lose contact."

Being around her feels like walking on eggshells. If I disagree, I'm met with silence, manipulation or explosive behavior. I cry every night, heartbroken over what feels like losing a limb. I feel for my son-in-law, who I believe was wronged, and I ache for my granddaughter, torn between two homes and two very different upbringings. Most of all, I am at a loss for how to move forward.

Deep down, my instincts tell me this new relationship won't last, but I don't know how to stand by my values and still hold on to my only grandchild. How can I stay in her life without surrendering completely to my daughter's demands? -- Heartbroken Grandmother


Read more... )

*********


4. Dear Prudence,

“Sean” is my son’s former stepson. He married Sean’s mom when Sean was 6, and the same year my granddaughter was born. They got divorced when Sean was 12. Sean is 15 now. My husband and I have bent over backwards trying to stay in touch with Sean after the divorce. We called, texted, and sent gifts. We live out of state, so seeing both our grandchildren is hard.

Sean rarely responds to any calls, and his mother will not even tell us if he likes the gifts we send him, let alone make him say thank you. My son just shrugs and says that is the nature of divorce, and we are setting ourselves up for failure.

This breaks our hearts because we did our best to embrace Sean as our grandchild. He is still in our will with our other grandchildren. My husband thinks that we should stop trying so hard and step back. Sean is old enough to be able to decide if he wants a relationship with us or not. It isn’t like his mom monitors his phone, and Sean is always “busy” when we visit. He thinks we need to rewrite our will and take Sean out. I understand going through another divorce is hard, but Sean has even cut off his cousins, and those boys were as thick as thieves. What should we do? Wait? Push? Stepback? The divorce was mutual, as far as we know.

—Sean Doesn’t Say


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****


5. Dear Care and Feeding,

I gave birth to a baby girl a few weeks ago, and my mom has been coming to help for a full day once a week. She’s wonderful with my newborn: She changes diapers like a pro, she is great at getting her to stop crying, and she is respectful of rules that were different from when she had her kids (like the fact that babies are supposed to sleep on their backs, without blankets and stuffed animals in the crib). It’s a dream grandparent setup, really! Except for one thing. My problem is what she brings with her every time she comes over.

Every time Grandma arrives, she’s toting a box of stuff from my childhood. When we first got home from the hospital, she brought toys from when I was a toddler. Last week, it was art from the 4th grade. This week, it was photo albums from when I was a baby, and a bunch of my baby blankets. When I suggested gently that the albums of baby photos would be better off remaining at her house, she said she’d think about it.

Well, an hour later, she said, “I thought about it, and I worry that if I don’t bring them here to you, you’ll never see them again.” Which to me sounded like a threat! But the next thing she said was, “You look so tired, go take a nap,” as she removed my screaming daughter from my arms. So it’s not like I was in a position to argue.

My mother is in good health and lives alone in the four-bedroom house she raised my brother and me in. We live in a very small home with comically limited closet space (thanks, housing crisis). I can’t keep up with all the stuff she brings over. But I very much want to stay on as good of terms as humanly possible with her. So what do I do?

—Boxed In


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Initial Pinch Hits #1-10

Dec. 30th, 2025 10:56 am
rfemod: (Default)
[personal profile] rfemod posting in [community profile] rarefemslashexchange
There are ten initial pinch hits and they will be due at the same time as assignments, on February 6th, 10PM PST. [Countdown] [In Your Timezone]

To claim a pinch hit, you can comment on this post (comments are screened) with your AO3 username and the pinch hit # that you want or you can reach out via email at rarefemslashexchangemod@gmail.com. While you can comment anonymously, please remember that you won't be able to get notified or see the reply.

Pinch Hit #1 (fic): Short Term 12 (2013), Red Band Society (US TV), Degrassi the Next Generation, Roseanne (TV 1988), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth, Blossom (TV 1990), Alexa & Katie (TV), Emily Price/Victoria Sands (Animal Control) )

CLAIMED! Pinch Hit #2 (fic, art): 1000xRESIST (Video Game), Dispatch (Video Game), Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games), Misericorde (Visual Novel), Original Work, The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson, House of the Dragon (TV), Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) )

CLAIMED! Pinch Hit #3 (fic): NoPixel (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs )

CLAIMED! Pinch Hit #4 (fic, art): 魔尊也想知道 - 青色羽翼 | Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know - Cyan Wings, ゆりでなるえすぽわーる | Yuri de Naru Esupowaru | Yuri Espoir (Manga), 화산귀환 | Return of the Blossoming Blade (Webcomic) )

Pinch Hit #5 (fic): Psychonauts (Video Games), Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry, Dragon Ball, Tekken (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics) )

Pinch Hit #6 (fic): 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong, 내가 키운 S급들 - 근서 | S-Classes that I Raised - Geunseo, Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga, Cage of Roses (Visual Novel), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, 恋与深空 | Love and Deepspace (Video Game) )

Pinch Hit #7 (fic, art): The Devils Series - Joe Abercrombie, Katabasis - R. F. Kuang, The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (Video Game) )

Pinch Hit #8 (fic): Disco Elysium (Video Game), Long Live the Queen (Video Game), Galaxy Princess Zorana (Video Game), Crossover Fandom (Long Live the Queen/Galazy Princess Zorana) )

Pinch Hit #9 (fic): Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett, The Seventh Victim (1943), I Walked with a Zombie (1943), In a Lonely Place (1950), Harper (1966), Columbo, Sette note in nero | The Psychic (1977) )

Pinch Hit #10 (fic): aoen (Band), &TEAM (Band), Dark Moon: The Grey City (Webcomic) )