kenjari: (piano)
kenjari ([personal profile] kenjari) wrote2007-01-18 08:42 pm

Thoughts before a recital

Tonight pantsie and I had our last real rehearsal before the concert on Saturday. We sounded good, and each piece felt comfortable and solid. The programs are printed, my dress is back from the dry cleaners, and I dug my dress shoes out of the closet. I feel ready.
Today I realized two important things. The first is that I don't feel much anxiety or dread over this performance. Sure, I'm a little nervous, but only in a normal way, not in a "what the hell am I doing" way. Overall, I'm very happy to be doing this, and very excited about it, too. It feels like the exact right thing to be doing. I truly feel like a professional musician. The lack of anxiety mainly stems from the fact that making music is what I do and who I am. There's no need to be terribly nervous over that. The second is that in my Statement of Purpose for grad school, one of the strongest sentences says that my goal as a composer is to write memorable music and get it performed. Well, I've done that. Pantsie and I made this happen ourselves, out of our own desire to do so. Not because of an academic requirement, but simply because we wanted to do it and believed that we could and should do it.

[identity profile] ladybird97.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
*hug* This is your Purpose! I can't wait to see the concert!

[identity profile] kenjari.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't wait to perform! See you tomorrow!

[identity profile] hai-kah-uhk.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Cool. Hope it goes well, and have fun!

[identity profile] kenjari.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I'm feeling really good about this.

[identity profile] storyjen.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm very excited for you both! Pantsie tells me there will be a CD; please let me know how to buy one! I only wish I could be there; I know you will both put on a beautiful concert.

[identity profile] kenjari.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm pretty excited, too. I can't wait! I'll keep you posted on the CDs.

[identity profile] pantsie.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
We're ready. No matter what happens, we're ready and we were meant to do this.

That feels really, really good.

[identity profile] liz-quartet.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
All the best for Saturday, enjoy yourselves. Look forward to hearing about it afterwards.

[identity profile] kenjari.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I will definitely post about it next week.

[identity profile] sen-no-ongaku.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Break a leg! I'm sorry I won't be able to make it...

[identity profile] thomascantor.livejournal.com 2007-01-19 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I truly feel like a professional musician. The lack of anxiety mainly stems from the fact that making music is what I do and who I am.

Exactly. Unfortunately, I'm planning to attend a memorial service at the same time, but break a (piano?) leg!